Cut to my first attempt at English101. My Professor assigned what would be my first major writing assignment, a Descriptive Narrative Essay. The goal of this assignment was to be highly descriptive using a story of our own. I chose to write about my mental health journey, which I believed had plenty of potential for illustrative elements, given that it was so intense for me. I struggled with the assignment because the topic was so emotional for me. I wasn’t sure how I would get it done without slipping back into the character I was writing about. However, I worked hard on it and I gained a new outlook on my mental health journey, an appreciation for personal writing, and I received a good grade despite my doubts.
Part of the assignment was to title the story something eye-catching that would reel an audience in. This was something I had never done before, but I liked the idea of being able to draw in an audience by the “cover” if you will. I named my story “Swollen Eyes'' - after my body's reaction to crying so long that I was actually dehydrated. I liked how personal the story became, how it included all the nitty gritty details of dealing with depression. This made me realize how effective writing can be, whether it be a personal outlet for therapeutic purposes or to tell a story that others can relate to, both of which I had done by writing that Descriptive Narrative Essay.
I've never felt particularly confident in my writing skills, and this assignment was no different. I had trouble making the essay sound smooth and flow just right because I realized a lot of my mental health journey was a blur. It was hard to recall exactly how things unfolded or other small details that I needed given that this essay called for the specific descriptive details. I scheduled a meeting with an academic counselor to help me edit my essay. I admit, I was hesitant to show her what I was writing at first, because mental health has always been sort-of taboo...but I knew I really needed the help. After reading it once-over, she told me that it takes a lot of courage to tell a story like mine and she was glad I was shedding light onto mental health as a whole. This made me feel bold and empowered, and like my story mattered. I had passion for what I was writing about, and it facilitated me into receiving a good grade. I liked how I described the cold, white brick walls in the mental hospital I went to, and how my eyes itched and burned from the tears I kept weeping. I wanted to tell a story that showed all the gritty details that everyone seems too uncomfortable to talk about or hear. I wanted to tell my story. Although sharing these uncomfortable details I knew might be challenging, I knew it was the best way to get through to my audience.
Before I wrote this essay, I believed all essays were done best robotically. You write to do it, and get the grade. I didn't think that I would ever enjoy writing because of my skewed perspective that writing academically should always be rated E for everyone. How could I possibly think my writing was decent when I put no emotion into it? Realistically, I don't expect anyone to read this and think they have to write about something horrible and profoundly heartbreaking that happened to them in order for their writing to be good. However, I do believe humor, irony, rhetorical questions, or other practical and unique elements also have the same potential to connect with an audience in your own individual way. I think “Swollen Eyes” was successful in guiding me to see the benefit of individuality in my writing. Now, I recognize the mediocrity in allowing my writing to fall into the “satisfactory” category, providing nothing unique or interesting. I don't want to shadow someone else's work in any way. My intention is for my audience to actually enjoy reading my work. I don't think anyone enjoys reading or writing unless it has some sort of impactful purpose or human quality to it, as I have hopefully demonstrated.
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